He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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