my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
