these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
