I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
