Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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