You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
