When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
