careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
