Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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