...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
being pregnant is like rehab
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
