He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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