That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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