12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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