I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
