yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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