i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize