So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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