it glows. i had to have it.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize