She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
