I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
