The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
then he tried to convert me to islam
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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