I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
