will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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