he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
