dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
