you turned your livingroom into a bong?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
