You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
grandma shit on top of the toilet
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
