Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Girls should come with a carfax report
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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