Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
