I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
