the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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