Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
