I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
