I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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