wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
