Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You're like the curious george of whores
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Randomize