i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
