he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
