I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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