I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
