Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Someone shattered a urinal.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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