The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
