So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
