idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
