I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Green mimosas i think yes
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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