security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
