I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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