I'm gonna have a badass scar
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
