yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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