I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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