remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
It was confusing and full of hummus
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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