do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
