Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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