Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
