This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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