Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Randomize
