They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
