Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
