ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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