Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
