Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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